It's been a while....

OK, so let's see I may repeat myself on a thing or two so please just bare with me..

So, I got sent to a Rhuematologist whom after only 2 visits decided that in her words "the only thing wrong with you is you're fat and you have a vitamin D deficiency" talk about being furious... Then she (this quack dr) says there's nothing more I can do for you......WHAT??? Seriously... What have you actually done for me?   Told me not to worry about my positive ANA result because she tested me for Lupus and I don't have that so I'm fine.... OK that's great I don't have Lupus however there's more things that could cause a positive ANA result...

Anyway....

My hubby had a biopsy on his right kidney on Wed May 16, 2012..  So, on Fri May 18, 2012 we had a follow up with his Urologist...This Dr who is suppose to be a professional.. didn't even look my husband nor myself in the face my husband was sitting on the medical table thing and I was sitting in a chair right next to the doctor and he didn't even look at me.. My husband says well... and the doctor was writing in my husbands chart.. NEVER looked up, never paused his writing or anything.. and said oh you have Stage 1 kidney cancer.... WHAT!!!!

So that doctor was over an hour drive for us and he wanted to send my husband to another doctor to do surgery... and let that guy operate.. I asked the urologist if he knew how much of my husbands kidney would have to be taken.. just curious so we could get used to the idea of him having even one kidney.. Well he flat out said he didn't know that he wasn't doing the surgery so he didn't know how much the other guy would take out...

(Ok so before you all think I'm being hard on this doctor he claims he stopped doing surgeries due to having his hip replaced.. ok that's no problem.. but he didn't even have a small limp as most people who have hip replacements do)

So he ordered a full bone scan and a chest x-ray...so that was done on May 24,2012.  We found out that day that there was a couple of Urologist who are only maybe 20 mins away from us... So I called the dr who is over an hour away and told him that we would rather my husband be closer to home instead of over an hour and a half away and be alone.. Closer to home he would have family and friends around him...The phone was not on speaker phone or anything.. But, as soon as i mentioned the words of wanting to change urologist and be closer to home.. So, I could get to my husband quick if I had to... This  doctor flipped out and started yelling at me saying how my husband needs his whole right kidney out....I said I understand that... while I was thinking that he had said before he didn't know how much would be taken out... So I also asked them to fax copies of my husbands diagnoses to his attorney for my husbands SSD case.... They got mad about that.. In one week of going back and forth to this urologist that is over an hour away we spent at least $200 in gas alone...Which some people may not think that's a lot but when you don't have it.. A dollar is gold..

I try to keep my husband calm and have everything as stress free as possible.. but it's hard to be a spouse or child of someone who has cancer.... But, to be the one living with it at no matter what stage is just heart breaking to see the affects it has on a person.

We don't know when he will have surgery yet.. but with the guy that the Urologist wanted us to go to was almost 2 hours away.. and the earliest appointment he would give my husband was June 26, 2012...that's a month away...

what are they wanting to raise his stress levels through the roof.. I just don't get some people.. But, anyway..

My message would have to be if you know anyone suffering from any disease.. please please please help them keep a positive attitude and yes it can be hard and difficult but what most people don't realize is that positive attitudes help with the healing process.... just like negative energy will make an illness progress quicker...

Love you family, friends.. and whoever else is in your life... Just talking to a stranger sometimes will make that persons day... It's the little things in life that mean so much...

Gob Bless

Time to face reality!

Time to face reality and to stop laying around moaning and groaning.. Time to step up to the plate and get ready to be the next at bat... It's not time to bring your pillows and blanket to the game.. By doing that shows you're giving up... I married a man who likes to compete.... This is the biggest competition in your whole life... The fight for your life!  Where's the fighter that I know is deep down in there... What I am seeing is just a shell of a person whose giving up...I do not like it not one little bit... I  will not accept it nor if I can help it you won't either...I want the man I married back not this shell of a person..

I understand you're going through some depressions.. But, look at all you have.. you have a family that loves you very much... and who is going through this journey with you...YOU'RE NOT ALONE....

Don't waste time or energy worrying about those who don't take time for you.. You know my feelings on it.. and if they don't have time for you then  don't sweat it...

Don't waste no sleep over those who don't deserve your second thought... I have no problem telling anyone how I feel.. But, know this.. WE LOVE YOU....WE WANT YOU TO FIGHT....

We want you to step up and hit that home winning run.... We will be there for you from now.. even through your surgery.. and your recovery...

and you owe me two rocking chairs... so we can sit in them and rock in our older years.. and watch our grandbabies run around...